The Hard Slow Down

I’m still struggling with stairs — especially going down. My doctor says I could start jogging, but honestly? I haven’t worked up the nerve yet. It’s not fear exactly… it’s more like my body keeps saying, “Let’s not rush this,” while my brain is already halfway down the block imagining sprint intervals.

As the weather changes, I’m noticing more ache in my knee. It’s like my leg has a built-in barometer now. I can tell when it’s going to rain before my weather app does. Between that and the darker days creeping in, motivation has been harder to find. I’ve been focusing more on eating clean and staying consistent with healthy habits — mostly because my recovery feels… stalled. I don’t feel like I’m getting stronger right now, and that’s been frustrating.

I also never do well mentally when the days get shorter. I thrive on sunshine, movement, and chaos — which might explain why I thought getting a puppy was a great idea. She keeps me moving though: lots of walks, lots of “what’s in your mouth?!” moments, and lots of laughter (after I catch her, of course).

Life feels kind of boring right now. After a summer of running full throttle, the hard slow-down has been tough to adjust to. My body needs it, but my brain doesn’t know how to rest. So naturally, I’ve started looking into master’s degree programs — because apparently a full-time job and five kids just isn’t enough to keep me busy.

Maybe this season is about learning to sit still — to let things heal, to find strength in the pause, and to remember that progress isn’t always visible. Sometimes it’s just choosing to keep showing up, even when the pace is painfully slow.